A Wish for Her
by GottaSecretForYa
Summary: Marble Hornets. Jay wishes for another chance with Jessica even to this day. He knows he ruined her life and won't rest until he's made things right. Jaysicca. Rated PG.


**Disclaimer**: Jay, Totheark, Alex, and all that Marble Hornets jazz belongs to Troy Wagner, Joseph Delage, and Tim Sutton.

**Pairings**: Jayssica (another het fic! My God!)

**A/N: **Request from someone on Tumblr. They wanted a Jayssica fic. Not my usual cup of tea, but I tried my best. Hopefully, it's acceptable.

**Warning:** Not really.

**Feedback:** It makes me write more, you know.

* * *

Ever since middle school, girls had been somewhat of a mystery to Jay. He was never as forward about relationships. He would blush whenever his friends started talking about how "hot" the cheerleaders were and would look away when someone snuck a Playboy in his backpack.

He went to the prom during his Junior and Senior year of high school, both with the same girl. Julia had been his next door neighbor for three years. She had been curvy and beautiful and he had absolutely no idea why she liked him. They had felt each other up a bit after their Senior prom but that was the extent of their physical relationship. They eventually lost contact after they graduated.

That was the whole story of his dating experience. Even in college, he had been too occupied with schoolwork and helping Alex with his film to really pursue anybody. Then he had received Alex's tapes and dating became the last thing on his mind.

The day he woke up in a strange hotel with seven months missing from his memory was one of the worst days of his life. How can you imagine something that godawful happening until you experience it? He was aware of the long-haired girl in the room adjoining his, but he had no idea how to breach the subject of identity without sounding like a complete screwball. What if he was supposed to know who she was?

He was slightly relieved to know that Jessica didn't know who he was either. Over the next few days, they danced around the subject of what they were doing there. He lied through his teeth, making up transparent excuses that he knew were winning him no points with her.

He could see that she was looking more ill, almost like him. Her skin was getting pasty and the dark circles under her eyes mirrored his. He wanted to offer to go out and get her medicine or food but he was terrified of coming off as desperate or creepy.

Finally, their awkward conversations came to a screeching halt when she finally called him out on his lies. She had guts and she had brains. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he had to admit she was pretty even when she was angry and hysterical. How low had he sunk when a pretty girl couldn't be with him for more than five minutes without being disgusted?

He had been planning to explain everything to her, but then she had disappeared and been replaced by a crazed masked man trying to chase him down. After escaping from the hotel, he had tried to call her multiple times a day, just for one sound of her voice, just to make sure she was all right.

After the first week, he was beside himself with panic. After the first month, he fell into a pseudo-depression. After the first year, a numbness spread throughout his mind when he thought of her. He made it his goal to find her. Every day that went by without any sign of her just made it that much more important to search harder the next day.

He thought Tim would help him search. Jay told him about Jessica in the hopes that Tim's natural sympathies would be stoked. Instead, Jay got punched in the face and reminded that he was probably the reason Jessica's life was in ruins.

There was a really good chance Totheark knew where she was, but the chances of him/her talking were null. Until he got some sign, Jay resigned himself to just waiting it all out.

In his dreams, however, his imagination gave him comfort. They were never doing anything overtly sexual, just going on dates or hanging out. One dream had them walking under an umbrella through a park in the rain with her clinging to his arm. They got to a gazebo and sat down, laughing and telling each other stories. Eventually, she raised her face and kissed him. She tasted like sweet tea and honey.

Just when he wrapped his arm around her to pull her close, he opened his eyes to see an eyeless Alex over her shoulder holding a knife. Jay cried out and threw himself in front of her so that the knife plunged into his stomach instead of her back. Alex stood above them, laughing, while Jessica sobbed over Jay. Jay tried to reach up and touch her face, but the world spiraled into darkness.

He woke with a start and stared at the ceiling. Relief fluttered through him but it rivaled a sadness that pierced his heart. What he wouldn't give to see Jessica again and hold her. He would have loved to get to know her and spend time with her.

He stared at himself in the mirror. The last three years of his life had been dedicated to finding her again. He wouldn't rest until he knew she was safe and happy. What if she was sick of him? What if she never wanted to see him again? If that was the case, he would respect her wishes and leave her alone. He had no one to blame but himself. But that didn't mean he was going to abandon her to whatever dark fate she was suffering. He loved her too much for that.


End file.
